The Seventh Thorn

As I mentioned in a previous post, God showed me that there were “thorns” in my heart that were symbolic of things that were done or said to me that I had neglected to deal with adequately at a previous time. These things had grown in to symbolic thorns that caused me continual pain and fed my system a constant stream of poison and infection. This is the story of the Seventh Thorn.

This Thorn was situated in my heart to the upper left atrium as I looked down at It. It was not terribly big, but in the shadow of a large one. And Its name was Curses.

Not curses in the sense of swearing or coarse language, but the old-fashioned curses, as in, “You are cursed,” when someone speaks ill over you or your life.

I’m a big believer and proponent of renouncing things that aren’t of God. And I knew of some curses in my family and thought I’d taken care of them. There are generational curses in my family – ones of premarital sex and pregnancy, of taking offense, of anger and resentment. Many years ago, I made a mental list and renounced each of these things, asking God to break the bondage in which they wanted to hold me. And I believe He did that.

But there were more curses…ones that were spoken over me as a young adult and even in to my adult life. Things like, “You’ll never make much money,” and things like “You’ll never find someone who loves you….” Things that I’m quite certain were not meant to curse, but did. Words that were probably designed to interject a dose of reality in to my idealistic mind and life, but which ended up dragging me down and giving space for and expectation of failure, and a spirit of depression and low expectation. I thought if something good happened, something bad was bound to come in and ruin it, because I really didn’t deserve anything good.

There were curses that were not spoken to me directly, but to my husband. And although those didn’t have the same effect on me directly, they certainly affected my existence and the satisfaction I had (or didn’t have) in my marriage, because those curses negatively affected him and how he related to me, to his work, and to our family.

And so as God told me the name of the Thorn, I mentally released each person. My dad, for telling me things that were coloured by his perspective and prejudicial bias. My mom, for continuing the generational curses of offense, anger, and resentment. My in-laws, for telling lies to my husband and speaking curses over him that have negatively affected me and my family since its inception more than a decade ago.

As I released these individuals, I felt the negativity flow away from me…almost as smoke from a pipe flows away in wisps. I felt the resentment leave in a similar manner, and I felt hope flow in. And then I saw God’s hand remove that Thorn. It still wasn’t very large, but It certainly drew strength from the bigger one by It and coloured my mind and perspective with Its poison. But Its hole and “soil” are now closed and the scar tissue is forming to protect the tender flesh.

There is one more Thorn left. It’s a big one and I think I’m ready. I’ll let God tell me when I really am ready and let Him do the gardening to get me to that point.

His and his,

This entry was posted on 181244H Aug 2008 and is filed under Forgiveness, Path to Healing, Thorns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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