soul ties

Part of the reason sex between husband and wife is so enjoyable (or at least, should be so enjoyable) is because God designed our souls and spirits to unite as *one* during the intimacy we share. The original Hebrew suggests that when a husband and wife are intimate and their souls unite in this unique way that God sees one person instead of two that are physically joined. Fascinating stuff! It really gives me new insight in to the Genesis verse (2:24b) “…and they shall become one flesh.”

Okay, so we didn’t have that for most of the years of our marriage — at least, not from our perspective. Our intimacy was lacking, and I don’t just mean the sex-side of our marriage. In order to build that intimacy, the couple must have a basis of trust. A confident knowing that the other spouse will let them be themselves and won’t judge them (let’s face it, most of us look pretty strange in the middle of ecstasy, and if we don’t trust our spouses, it’s hard to let ourselves “go there” and look weird). And that was missing — for a myriad of reasons.

One of the reasons we didn’t is because of what we did when we were engaged. I touched on that in a previous post. We didn’t build the steps to intimacy and the trust that God designed us to build, and I’m like any other woman in that I simply cannot go from standing still to 100mph in a few hours time.

But another reason we didn’t have that basis of trust is because of soul ties to the past. My husband had them and I had them.

Soul ties, are by definition, the link between us (our souls) and the soul of another that comes from intimate activity. The really sucky part of dabbling outside of marriage sexually is that the laws that God established for marriage (that our souls join during intimacy) apply to us outside of marriage, too. So when we act out with others, we join our souls together and that bond continues to bind us to this person even after the relationship ends.

This might be new terminology to you, but if you’ve been intimate in the past with someone other than your spouse and think back to that relationship, long for it, or dwell on it, that would be evidence of a soul tie. These ties can keep us from building true intimacy and trust with our spouses and can keep us stuck in an unhealthy place emotionally, spiritually, and sexually.

So in my foolish teen years when I was seeking something I didn’t get at home [approval] and went out with guys who used me for their own pleasure (I let them because I was getting the approval and acceptance I craved), I created soul ties. And although those relationships were long over, I still found myself thinking back, remembering, and dwelling on the experiences. It was incredibly unhealthy.

As I was reading Intimate Issues, I came to the chapter on past sexual sins and what to do with them. And the more I read, the more I realized that although I didn’t have actual sex with these guys, I did make intimate mistakes and I did create these soul ties and bonds that were still pulling me back to the past and preventing me from fully living in the here and now with my husband and our relationship. I knew that these ties needed to be cut.

So I set out to do just that. I prayed through my thoughts and guilt and allowed God to wash me clean, and asked Him to cut the ties to the past. Those ties that were binding me to past mistakes and experiences that I wasn’t meant to have but had anyhow. In my spirit, I saw a wooden door with an old-fashioned keyhole, very similar to the animated door in Alice in Wonderland when Alice was trying to get in to Wonderland. Coming out of this keyhole were strings. The door was distant and closed and the strings were stretching toward me. I understood this to mean that the past was a closed door in my life not to be revisited, but also that there were these strings that I was dragging around with me that connected me to that past.

In my spirit, I saw a very large hand coming towards the strings with a large pair of scissors. The strings were cut as a matter of course, and then the door flew back out of sight (I presumed in to my past) very rapidly. The freedom I felt with that snip of the strings was immense and I was able to praise God in my mind and heart at what He had done.

I then realized that as God had forgiven me and cut the soul ties to my past, I had to forgive myself. That was a little harder to do, but I eventually succeeded.

Intimate Issues suggests that once those soul ties have been cut that you choose a symbolic *something* to remind yourself of the new work of God in freeing you from the past. They suggested a new robe (because you’ve been robed in the righteousness of Christ), a pair of scissors (because the past has been cut away from you), and some other things. I thought the scissors were quite symbolic, considering what I had seen in my spirit, and so when I told my husband, he brought out a large pair of scissors and I put them on my side of the headboard in my room. That way, when the Enemy came against me and tried to remind me of the past and torment me, I would have that physical reminder of what God has done and how I am free. Very cool. :)

If you have soul ties to the past and want to be free of them, ask God to cut them and remove them. It’s a process and one that I don’t advise undertaking lightly. Soul ties are very real and very serious things to God and in the spirit realm, and only God can cut what we have (foolishly) put in to place. But the freedom that comes from this sort of exercise is worth the effort.

The short of the story is that after my soul ties to the past were cut, I found newfound freedom to build trust and intimacy with my husband. That created a new bond that we are fully appreciating and enjoying. And that made the exercise completely worth the time and effort. Completely.

His and his,


This entry was posted on 260727H Jun 2008 and is filed under Forgiveness, Path to Healing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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