Brokenness

Broken Heartphoto © 2006 David Goehring | more info (via: Wylio)
The tagline on the blog used to read “one wife’s journey through her husband’s sexual addiction to wholeness and healing.”   I changed that this morning to read “one wife’s journey through her husband’s sexual brokenness to wholeness and healing.”

Why the change?

I think “sexual brokenness” more aptly describes our journey – while he is still a sexual addict, as we talk and process, we realize that the addiction stems from a deeper brokenness.  He doesn’t have many presenting problems like an addict does at this point, but like the alcoholic who knows that he is just one bottle of Jägermeister away from another bender, he stays on guard at all times.  God has been incredibly faithful in that the closer my husband moves to Him, the less he feels the slavish pull of the pornography, of the inappropriate emails or chats, and of looking at images that are designed to tempt and elicit excitement.  My intuition flashes at times, but less than before.

The sexual brokenness is the root of all of his issues – the acting out, the communication issues, the fear and trepidation that comes from wondering if he’ll be rejected by someone who doesn’t understand the differences between temptation and following through on temptation….  It’s appealing at times to want to justify it all with the CSA he was subjected to as a young child.  And while that abuse is the source of his sexual brokenness, he recognizes his own responsibility in his journey as well.

And so I’ve changed the tagline – I am married to a sexually broken man. One whom Jesus is putting back together, one piece at a time, and one who loves me as much as any broken human can, because we are all broken in some way.  My journey to is to continue alongside him, allowing Jesus to heal my brokenness in the process.

His and his,
~Cori.

This entry was posted on 081019H Apr 2011 and is filed under Path to Healing, sexual abuse, Sexual Brokenness, SSA. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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