my heart | his heart

I had queried a few weeks ago whether it would be any easier to do the Cardboard Testimonies the 2nd and 3rd times… and the answer is a resounding “No.”

It was still completely worthwhile, but to do it at the northern campus of our church this past Sunday was still hard.  It was hard to stand there, owning my crap, but to hear the gasps, to see the shock on the faces of my friends, to hear the sniffles, and see the wiping of tears as we stood there was nearly impossible.  I had arranged with one particularly stoic friend beforehand that he would be my visual “focal point” and that he wouldn’t break down or cry.  He didn’t, and that helped.  But it was hard to maintain my composure.  I have adopted this line from “Steel Magnolias”:  I have a strict policy that nobody cries alone in my presence. 

Regardless, the response was resoundingly positive from both services.  And maybe because the length of relationship with these people is longer than with those in the newer campus (where we attend & minister regularly), it wasn’t awkward at the end.

And the reason I’m doing this became very apparent - a woman pulled me aside afterward in the children’s area and asked if she could inquire as to the addiction my husband struggled with.  I told her, in all honesty, and watched her eyes well up.  She could hardly contain her tears and the choking sounds in her voice and asked for my contact information, which I willingly imparted.  I’ll wait for her to contact me, but I hugged her as we parted and told her that she *could* do it - and she could lean on me as she needed to for strength.  That, my friends, is why I’m owning this.  That is why I’m willing to stand on a stage with a sign that describes my former-life of slavish closeted fear, pain that I couldn’t share because of the rejection that awaited me, and emotional turmoil that sent me running for my own form of medication.

It’s because the other side of that sign tells what Jesus is doing and what He has done that allows me to proclaim freedom to the captives and hope to the weary.

And all of that is worth it.

Our “Restore Groups” are less than one week from launching, and we had a great meeting as leaders last night.  It’s slightly nerve-wracking, but as a point of levity, I include this video from YouTube.  I grew up in southeastern Michigan and this was an ad for the Detroit Zoo that ran in my teen years.  My sisters & I could recite it (still can!) and laughed at it regularly.  We’re not a zoo in these Restore Groups, but as we do our final prep, it’s just fun to watch & laugh. 

His and his,
~Cori