one wife’s journey through her husband’s sexual addiction to wholeness and healing
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
Turn and face the strange
(Ch-ch-Changes)
Don’t want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
Turn and face the strange
(Ch-ch-Changes)
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
David Bowie’s song “Changes” from the “changesONEbowie” album of 1984 seems to explain much of our lives right now. I’m pretty sure it’s not how Bowie intended [...]
We saw our therapist last night and although it’s wasn’t an earth-moving experience, it wasn’t a bad one, either. At his suggestion and encouragement, I’m about to chronicle some small achievements and victories - because they help us keep perspective and feel like the meal we’ve before us (an elephant) is going down, one [...]
Once again I find myself pondering deep questions and concepts and this seems to be a good place to hash some of this out. So bear with me, if you will.
In a discussion pertaining to pornography use and the shamefulness we see in those who partake and who are addicted, someone suggested that it’s the [...]
Dido sings a song called “White Flag” that speaks to what I’m feeling right now:
I know you think that I shouldn’t still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn’t say it, well I’d still have felt it
Where’s the sense in that?
I promise I’m not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we [...]
The next step for my husband and me is still largely unknown. I know different aspects of what it will look like, but many of the specifics are still veiled from us. As much as I like to have my ducks in a row and know what’s coming and when, God doesn’t always [...]
As I mentioned in a previous post, God showed me that there were “thorns” in my heart that were symbolic of things that were done or said to me that I had neglected to deal with adequately at a previous time. These things had grown in to symbolic thorns that caused me continual pain and [...]
Most of us are familiar with the concept of repression, and to some extent, I think most of us probably engage in it from time to time. Me? Yeah, well… I’m the Queen of Repression.
I’ve always been a peacemaker; that was sort of my place in my family while growing up. And [...]
When you’re dealing with sexual addiction and trust issues, how do you avoid fear and doubt? For me, these two things go hand in hand with dealing (or not dealing) with my husband’s addiction and our combined trust issues.
Case in point: recently, I planned an anniversary celebration for the two of us. [...]
When my husband and I were engaged, we both had baggage that we kept to ourselves. We didn’t share the secrets we harboured, but they tormented us with a ferocity that I didn’t understand at the time.
My then-future-husband did know that I had been sexually assaulted in college and (apparently) challenged me on how [...]
One night while my husband was IM’g a mentor-friend of his and I was on a different level of the house, reading, he came up and wanted to talk. It was still a time of new habits and newly-opened lines of communication, and so I made myself put the book down and focus on [...]
