27 Jun 2008

the fortress around my heart

As an avowed Sting-fan and a general music-geek, I find great significance in song lyrics. Recently, as I considered past patterns of self-protection that I had engaged in, the song “Fortress Around Your Heart” came leaping to mind. Under the ruins of a walled city Crumbling towers in beams of yellow light No flags of […]

Continue reading "the fortress around my heart" »

26 Jun 2008

soul ties

Part of the reason sex between husband and wife is so enjoyable (or at least, should be so enjoyable) is because God designed our souls and spirits to unite as *one* during the intimacy we share. The original Hebrew suggests that when a husband and wife are intimate and their souls unite in this unique […]

Continue reading "soul ties" »

25 Jun 2008

it’s just pictures…right?

Pornography is officially defined as “obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, esp. those having little or no artistic merit.” The American Heritage Dictionary adds a bit to the definition, stating it is: “Sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal.” Even the US Supreme Court has weighed […]

Continue reading "it’s just pictures…right?" »

24 Jun 2008

in our own strength

When my husband and I were engaged, we both had baggage that we kept to ourselves. We didn’t share the secrets we harboured, but they tormented us with a ferocity that I didn’t understand at the time. My then-future-husband did know that I had been sexually assaulted in college and (apparently) challenged me on how […]

Continue reading "in our own strength" »

23 Jun 2008

a scary admission

One night while my husband was IM’g a mentor-friend of his and I was on a different level of the house, reading, he came up and wanted to talk. It was still a time of new habits and newly-opened lines of communication, and so I made myself put the book down and focus on him. […]

Continue reading "a scary admission" »

21 Jun 2008

intimate issues

One of the books I bought in response to realizing that I had all this “stuff” to deal with inside of me was Intimate Issues. Written by Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus, this book is written by and for women, dealing with questions about sex and intimacy from a Christina perspective. I have an advanced […]

Continue reading "intimate issues" »

20 Jun 2008

what is ssa?

SSA is the abbreviation for Same Sex Attraction and is commonly referred to in the world of counseling and gender-assignment studies as a condition where an individual might have a same-gendered proclivity, but not officially designate themselves as “gay” or “lesbian.” Most often, these individuals live a heterosexual lifestyle and consider themselves “straight,” but struggle […]

Continue reading "what is ssa?" »

18 Jun 2008

how it all began

As I continue to write, you’ll learn bits and pieces of my story and my husband’s story — what writers call ‘backstory’ and fills in details a little more coherently. But that’s not for now. Now is the chance to tell you how this leg of the journey began and how we know it’s different […]

Continue reading "how it all began" »

17 Jun 2008

what is this blog?

This blog is the story of healing. A hard journey through sexual addiction, same-sex attraction (SSA), and the long road back to healthy intimacy and trust. It’s one woman’s story of pain, assault, betrayal, renewal, healing, and life. It’s God’s story of redemption, renewal, and wholeness. It’s raw, real, and transparent. It will contain real […]

Continue reading "what is this blog?" »